Working with Opposites: Focus on the Behaviour and not the Personality A couple of years ago, I wrote about managing the ‘Storming’ phase of Team Development and to-date it has been one of my most popular posts so I have decided to address the topic again. In this post I discuss how to detect that storming has gone too far, hindering productive team growth and potentially causing lasting damage. I will also discuss leading your team out of unproductive storming. [Related Post: Now, You’re Storming: Managing the Storming Phase of Team Development] If you are not familiar with psychologist Bruce Tuckman’s popular theory on the stages of group development, i.e. Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing, and Adjourning, please read my previous post on the topic linked above. When to Step In… The storming phase, when team members are no longer trying to just “fit in,” they are now trying to establish themselves within the group, is a natural progression that most teams go through. But can the ‘storming’ get out of control? Yes, absolutely. Like a parent with two fighting kids, there comes a time when you need to step in before someone gets really hurt. Protecting values, defending options, resisting change and struggling to establish norms are all commonplace in the storming phase. Most adult groups with an effective leader can work through these issues without too much resentment, hurt feelings and lost productivity. In fact, weathering out the storming phase with little leader intervention usually makes the team closer, stronger and more trustworthy in the end. Gone Too Far How can you tell when storming has gone too...
This week, I address another conflict resolution question that came from an audience member at a recent presentation. “Is it a good tactic to avoid the conflict while the things cooled down and talk about it later with a clear and open mind to others position?” I believe the person is suggesting the ‘conflict resolution’ session be ‘avoided’ until things cooled down and not the conflict should be avoided. I don’t believe any conflict should be avoided, good or bad. It should always be managed, which may involve some type of intervention if it escalates. [Related: 5 Tips to Manage the Storming Phase of Group Development] As I was attempting to facilitate the resolution of a conflict between two clients, Mike and Frank, I had on a wilderness expedition it became clear to me this was not the right time. The conflict had been brewing for a few days and was gradually escalating in intensity. Their behavior was starting to affect the whole team, making everyone feel uncomfortable when Mike and Frank were around each other. As the leader, I knew their behavior couldn’t go on if our team was going to perform at its best, which would be needed to achieve our lofty goals. I wanted to resolve the conflict so I brought the two guys together to run through a conflict resolution model (download a detailed description of the model). The first step in the exercise is the Ventilation stage, where both parties have an opportunity to vent all their frustrations by detailing the exact effect that other person’s behavior is having on them. It is important...
In a recent conflict resolution webinar that I was presenting to 1400 project managers, I had several people ask me the same type of question: how do you manage the conflict when your manager’s poor leadership skills are a significant source of the conflict? One thing is for sure: it’s not fun having a manager with poor leadership skills. I once worked for a director who was a poor leader and it was disheartening, especially when I would speak with other employees of the company and hear how great their director was to work for. My disgruntled feeling working for this director had nothing to do with the company. I actually loved the organization. If my contract had not ended, I don’t think I would have stayed at the company much longer if I had to continue working under that director. If at the time I had known of the skills listed below for working with poor managers, my time could have been much productive and enjoyable. I was clearly headed down the road to live up to the saying ‘People don’t leave companies, they leave managers.’ But what if you don’t want to or are not in a position to leave the company and your best option is to stick it out with this manager? If you find yourself dealing with a difficult boss, some of these tips should help you alleviate a part of the conflict and stress that the boss has created. This is often referred to ‘managing up’. 1. Be Sure About the Real Issue In any conflicting situations, it is essential you look all...
You have cleared your schedule, did your preparation, made arrangements for others to cover what you are supposed to be doing during the time, and drove in traffic for an hour to get there. As you get out of the car, you get a text on your phone saying they had to cancel the meeting that was due to start in 10 minutes. Just about nothing frustrates me more than wasted time and resources. (The one thing that may get to me, even more, is the complete meltdown my kids throw as we try to head out the door, but that is a topic for another day.) When my time and resources are wasted, I start plucking out any hair that’s left in my head in frustration. If you commit to a meeting time and place DON’T CANCEL IT! If you are at all concerned about the value of the meeting and wonder if you should cancel, you may want to download my The 7-Step Blueprint for Meetings That Actually Add Value! PDF. Outside of an emergency, the only time you should cancel is well in advance of the meeting date. Few excuses would be acceptable for a late cancellation of a meeting. If you do have to cancel… If you do have to cancel you had better, be clear and transparent to why. This is not a good time to gloss over your reason for the cancellation. You have already frustrated the attendees and now you risk losing their respect. The one way to hold on to any sort of respect for a late meeting cancellation is to...
Leaders Prioritize – Leaders Respond Recently, a friend was in some slow moving employment contract negotiations. There was no animosity and both sides were excited that the contract was offered. After the initial flurry of emails that led to the offer, the employer became very slow to respond to emails when the fine-tuning negotiating started. The employer would send an email. My friend would respond in a few hours and then days would go by before she would hear back from them. It turns out, most of the time, the gentleman representing the employer was travelling or waiting for more information before getting back to her. Both are perfectly normal reasons for not having a decision right away but no excuse for not sending a short email, letting her know why he couldn’t provide the decision in a timely manner. In the silence, my friend was growing more and more stressed that the employer was going to back out of the contract. In reality, that was not the case at all. In the end, it all worked out but in the process, considerable time and energy, and a little respect were lost. Had the employer acknowledged the receipt of the corresponding emails and either responded with an answer or mentioned when he would get back with a proper response, the trust and respect level would have remained high while eliminating unnecessary anxiety. If he could not write a complete answer to the email in an appropriate time, a simple one-line explanation why and when to expect the response would be the appropriate thing to do. Get Out of the...
