Surprise Constructive Feedback – You may not believe it but it is important! You know the kind of feedback, the type that comes totally unexpected and catches you off guard. It usually sends you in a tailspin of emotions. Once I received surprise written feedback from a client, saying that at times I spoke to them in a condescending voice. My first reaction was to say, “No I didn’t, and you don’t know what you’re talking about”. My second reaction was “I am not that fond of the person anyway so their opinion doesn’t mean much to me”. My third, and most reasonable, reaction was “That’s horrible, I feel so bad. Was I really condescending? If so why and what can I do to alter my behaviour?” For my brain to run through these reactions took about 5 minutes, without talking to anyone. At times, you may receive personal constructive feedback that you are surprised to hear. You may believe it to be true or not but the fact of the matter is that it has been said to you and now you need to react. What do you do with this sort of feedback? A common initial reaction is to blow it off as just a “one-off” and deny that it could even be true or on the other hand, express extreme concern that your behaviour has a negative effect on someone. Thoughts such as “It doesn’t really matter, it’s only one or two people who feel this way” are also common. Sure, at the end of the day, feedback is just one person’s opinion, it’s not who...
I will never forget the time a client on a month long mountaineering expedition I was leading looked at me on the first day and said, “Aren’t you a little young to be leading us?” A little caught off guard, I replied, “How old should I be?” He was clearly skeptical of my experience and leadership abilities on that first day. Four days later, after I set up his rappel system on a knife-edge ridge in the North Cascade Mountains of Washington State, he was pretty happy I was there to show him what to do as he was shaking in his boots. Once we got into the mountains I could have used my position as his instructor to gain influence over him but I decided to let my expertise speak for itself. Gaining Influence I am often asked “how can I influence others when my position offers me little formal leadership”. My quick answer is “The same way as if you had a formal title”. As a leader, you hold a certain amount of influence over a group of people. There are 5 main types of influencers or “power” as Tom Kendrick highlights in his book Results Without Authority. Power Of Position Power To Coerce Power To Reward Power Of Expertise Power Of Personality Influencing others through your position and coercion come with a position of formal authority but are the least preferred methods of any quality leader. Too often, people feel they need to lead from a position with a fancy title. They say things like ‘if I was in XYZ position it would be so much...
Hi folks, I am back after my extended summer break of blogging. I hope you enjoyed the “best of” blogs that I posted during the summer and are eager for more valuable leadership and team building (and a few parenting) insights and information. Many new people have joined my blogging community in the past few weeks and I would like to send a big WELCOME to you. Others have been reading my posts for years and I greatly appreciate your interest in my work and the valuable time you invest in reading the blog. I promise to give you the best I have in concise, value packed information and stories to help you develop your leadership at work and home. If you ever have questions or suggestions on my blog topics, speaking assignments or leadership consulting, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me at sstratton@livemoregroup.com. Now, on with the show… My editors often find it challenging to edit my PowerPoint presentations, not because of the spelling or grammar alterations needed but because of the lack of information. By their nature, slide decks a meant to support the dialog of the presenter, not to be the full text on the point being covered. When the editor is faced with rewording a point, their suggested revision it is often not what I am trying to convey. They don’t have the full context of the topic, story or point I am making which will come verbally when the slide is displayed, so they have to guess at the context and come up with a suggested edit. As a leader, you...
(Note – this is a 2016 summer addition ‘best of the best’ blog from the past.) The other day, I was getting some banana chocolate (see recipe below), for my kids 2 & 4 y/o. It was a treat. We just got home from a cold evening of soccer games and I thought I would give them a little treat to warm up before going to bed. Giving them the treat I also thought they may be a little better behaved for me going to bed instead of putting up with their usual antics. Soccer goes a little late and always puts me into rush mode to get them to bed at a close to reasonable time, which never happens. They were excited for the hot chocolate and the fact they could drink it out of the big kids’ cup, not the usual sippy cups. As I passed the cup to Trinity (the 2 y/o) I looked her in the eye and said “now be careful not to drop it”. Being 2, she is pretty good at dropping cups with liquid in it. I walked back in the kitchen to pour my own hot chocolate and not 5 seconds later I hear the cup hit the floor followed by uh oh. Rushing back to the table, I see her cup on the floor with the hot chocolate sprayed across the floor, on three chairs and halfway up two walls. I don’t even know how it got that far up the wall. For that moment and for the next 10 minutes while I cleaned, my world had caved in on me....
By Shawn Stratton | Follow him on Twitter (Note – this is a 2016 summer addition ‘best of the best’ blog from the past.) You’ve heard the expressions “I’m so busy,” “I’m too busy to do that,” or “I just can’t find the time …” I believe that these phrases have caused an epidemic of excuses in our society. It has become a sign of prestige to say how busy you are when someone asks, “How are things?” When was the last time you answered that question with “Things are pretty slow right now” or “Fantastic, I’m spending my time on things most important to me”? The reality is you are never too busy to do anything. You spend our time on what seems to be the most important thing to you right now. Think about the last time you told someone you were too busy to do something. I’m willing to bet you weren’t too busy at all; you just placed a lower priority on the task you were talking about than the one that was filling your time. An honest response would have been, “I’m sorry but that isn’t a high priority for me right now and I have other tasks that are more important to me taking up my time.” That brings us to the priority list. A priority list allows you to rank the importance of the tasks, which fill your time. I love writing these lists (and thinking about them even more) and ranking them so that I always know what I should be doing with my time. You are what you did today. (Tweet...
